Love means balance, too
By Chelsea Puntillo
Last Updated:9:20 PM EST 2/24/10 Section: Viewpoint
In a post-Valentine's Day detox, I am going to ridicule the entire idea of "traditional" romance and chivalry. Speaking as a girlfriend of three years, I want to dispel the theory that every woman "needs" flowers, chocolates and cards. Not to say that I don't like chocolate or that any woman shouldn't like these things. This assumed necessity to purchase $80 worth of dying plants is just ridiculous to me. That and $15 worth of 1,400 calories (ThatsFit.com) of your own box of chocolates just doesn't scream "love" to me.
For my first anniversary I bought my boyfriend two brand new CDs by his favorite bands and a T-shirt. I got roses that I had to stare at for a week while they wilted and made a mess of my floor with dead leaves while he rocked out to his tunes.
Also, I don't agree with this whole chivalry thing. Fisher is a very polite campus and I watch just as many girls hold doors open for others as I do guys. To all you payers in the relationships out there: if you both have jobs, then don't feel like it is always your responsibility to get the bill. A relationship is about balance. Both partners should be equally responsible for treating the other to nice things.
The argument of who pays is common in my relationship. He believes in chivalry and that he should pay for my meal. I argue that while the gesture is very kind, I should be able to pay sometimes. This, he says, makes him feel emasculated. Why? Don't you think it makes me feel that I feel like I can't act as an equal in the relationship? I know his heart is in the right place, but I feel like my part in the relationship is a little moot when it comes to repaying the favor.
I'm not saying anything against someone treating their significant other, but how about we make the playing field fairer? Give only practical gifts. Girls, don't just expect to get treated every time; unless he's made of money, you're probably going to end up eating at the Burger King lounge after a few months when they start running out of cash.
cep09190@sjfc.edu
For my first anniversary I bought my boyfriend two brand new CDs by his favorite bands and a T-shirt. I got roses that I had to stare at for a week while they wilted and made a mess of my floor with dead leaves while he rocked out to his tunes.
Also, I don't agree with this whole chivalry thing. Fisher is a very polite campus and I watch just as many girls hold doors open for others as I do guys. To all you payers in the relationships out there: if you both have jobs, then don't feel like it is always your responsibility to get the bill. A relationship is about balance. Both partners should be equally responsible for treating the other to nice things.
The argument of who pays is common in my relationship. He believes in chivalry and that he should pay for my meal. I argue that while the gesture is very kind, I should be able to pay sometimes. This, he says, makes him feel emasculated. Why? Don't you think it makes me feel that I feel like I can't act as an equal in the relationship? I know his heart is in the right place, but I feel like my part in the relationship is a little moot when it comes to repaying the favor.
I'm not saying anything against someone treating their significant other, but how about we make the playing field fairer? Give only practical gifts. Girls, don't just expect to get treated every time; unless he's made of money, you're probably going to end up eating at the Burger King lounge after a few months when they start running out of cash.
cep09190@sjfc.edu
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Ksander
posted 3/10/10 @ 9:19 AM EST
I totally agree with you! Actions speak volumes and are more valuable than chocolates and flowers.
Post a Comment